What They Think?

I felt compelled to write and share some thoughts on this topic because it seems to be truly plaguing our everyday existence, even more among our children.

Most people struggle to come to terms with who they are and become concerned with what others think of them. We post glam pictures on social media, noting how many likes we’ve received and comments made. We disguise ourselves to be / to look like someone else. Why? Because, in a world where people can virtually sell their soul for a virtual like, glimpse of success and, where television is dominated by a constant bombardment of false reality TV shows; how can we remember not to be overly concerned by others’ opinions of us?

Just like other habits we create in our lives, the habit of conforming to other people’s expectations can easily lead to a life habit, to a place where we have no clue who we really are or what we even want anymore. We can quickly find ourselves getting so comfortable learning to live in the image of those we care about, trust and love or want to impress that we end up doing all sorts of things, and becoming different just to align with what others think as being right for us, instead of what we feel called to become. We then find ourselves going through life second guessing ourselves, making constant modifications to our appearance, behaviors and overall character, while slowly losing a piece of our self-identity every day and wasting our true existence.

This scripture comes to mind as I rummage through this topic of “social-validation" faux-pas: “I praise you because you are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Psalm 139:14).” You were not destined to be, to look like, to act like anyone. Simply put, you are unique!

It is likely going to take some time to adapt to that phrase and what I am going to say next; however, we are partially responsible for the pain we feel when someone doesn’t like us, or compliment us, or show favor/interest. We have forgotten that we do not have the ability to control what others think of us, no more than we can control their actions. We do have the ability to control how we respond to behaviors. We can add or deduct value from the opinions of others. What others think of you should have no importance to you, unless you have chosen to give it importance. The only way it will hurt you, is if you allow it to. That pain requires your permission.

Notice, no one is saying not to hear the thoughts and opinions of others, this can always open the door of opportunity to learn and grow. However, everyone has a point of view, wariness, and outlook on what “perfection” may look like, how life should be lived, and how you should represent yourself but all those opinions belong to them, not you. The hardest lesson we struggle with is taking those opinions and/or feedback personally, even when shared kindly. You may not fall within the standards someone has set for themselves, that doesn’t mean you are imperfect or you should agree with them; it means that they have a difference of opinion from you and that should not influence how you feel or view yourself.

Don’t let anyone imposed their opinion upon you, because in the end, you get to choose. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! Wasting your time thinking about what others are thinking about you or feel about you serves nothing. Seeking approval is a waste of your time and energy. It will only bring you unnecessary suffering. In the end, it’s not about whether others approve of you but if you approve of you and who you are inside and out. This is what counts! Who cares what others think, not everyone is meant to see you, like you or understand you. 

Remember: You are a masterpiece!