Storms

For the past 13 months (likely has been longer if I'm honest) I have gone through a cycle that I can honestly say has turned out to be the most challenging, painful, stressful yet life changing and rewarding time of my life. I thought I knew struggle prior to this season but my perspective has significantly changed in this last year and some months. Especially when every single past storm, slightly resolved and those unresolved all came together in this one season.

It was around August of 2015 when the warmth and sunshine of my life started to turn into clouds. It's as though I was anticipating a storm I just didn’t know how bad it would be or how long it would last. Prior to, I was living a pretty happy, healthy, purposeful, financially stable lifestyle with a thriving career and organization and a passionate pursuit to make a difference… when subtly clouds started to come in. However, for some strange reason I wasn’t surprised. Life is full of unexpected challenges. However, these clouds seemed to be different. They weren’t real obvious at first and so, I continued to live my life as if they weren’t there; I would get a headache and call it ‘stress’ or have a sleepless night or two and blame it on my overthinking obsession. The physical pain of life never really bothered me. I was used to physical pain. The little daily abnormalities never raised any concerns for me.

But then, my personality became more introvert and my attitude began to change. I was shorter tempered, filled with constant sadness, my smile faded and overall I became distant. I was just heavy and burdened. It seemed like I was having more bad days than good days. A lot of things were starting to frustrate me…a lot more than usual! It wasn’t long before other areas of my life started to get increasingly difficult to manage. A rough batch of poor choices created more unnecessary stress, a very good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and the lifespan of one year to live, my forever healthy, strong tower of faith, support and rock grandmother was hospitalized, to then find ourselves being told she was in her final days, fights with a family members created unresolved tension and conflict, started experiencing days of constant pain with no relief. I couldn't shake anything and it all started pulling me down.

We live each day and thank God for it, we thank Him for that new day because it means we can start fresh; but then when some of those new days start feeling no different than the previous day. I would wake up with a positive attitude and outlook, then something happens that just takes you out of your element. Soon those little nuances turned into weeks of unending downpours. After that, it didn’t seem to take much longer for a raging storm to drench my life, my rock solid, heart of a lion grandmother passed away. 

You will find yourself going through a storm and don't know how to stop the downpour. You will find yourself asking question after question with no resolve. You will find yourself doubting the possibility of a rainbow or ray of sunlight. This is what I believe to be a normal response to the experience. However, when I finally stopped the battle within me and looked back I could see that the scattered showers were actual warning signs from God; we just aren't always paying attention. At this point, either you listen to the warning signs and do something about it before it gets worse or you accept the fact that a major storm will come your way. 

It’s in times like these that our trust and faith in God is most important. "My grace is sufficient for you...for My power is made perfect in your weakness... (2 Corinthians 12:9)." If you are feeling overwhelmed right now, be encouraged that things truly will get better. There is always a calm after the storm. The length of the season truly depends on you and your overall outlook and attitude. It's not easy to see sunshine while you are going through. You must pay attention to the warning signs. This is the importance of seeking God and trusting in Him to guide and keep you as "you go through." 

Going through means:

Pray
Do everything you can to stay positive
Do your best to stay busy 
Do things that you enjoy
Try your best not to complain about your problems
Talk with trusted family, friends or a mentor
Give back to your community by serving others
Pray




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