Truth about Patience…

Patience a virtue...? 

This quote has helped change my understanding of patience: “Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

I was taught growing up that patience was a virtue (Galatians 5:22-23), but I was never taught why. Why was patience a virtue?

Most people get it wrong; they believe that patience and waiting are the same thing. Well, that's not true. What does patience really mean? Patience has nothing to do with waiting. Patience is all about "working hard while waiting for the results." Patience is understanding that the only way to get to where you want to go is to do something without anticipation.

In my experience, patience meant, I would miss out on something I desired. So, I became the hare in the race of my life and would fast track myself through career choices and opportunities and even relationships for fear that I would be forgotten and miss out on something (avoidance). But in the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, you'll remember, it’s the tortoise that wins the race, because, he is constant and determined.

We are all in one way or another likely guilty of being the hare...wanting something immediately, or sooner rather than later, at one point or another. We can’t afford to wait. Waiting means we won’t have what we want today. We may miss out on something we can experience now. We don’t want to wait for tomorrow. But when we rush to get what we want, do we really get what we are waiting for, or did we lower our standards to get "something" sooner? Do we find that we accept a smaller piece of what we were waiting for in exchange for instant gratification? Why not take a little less today? Why not get some gratification today rather than a lot more gratification tomorrow and possibly the rest of our lives? Because today is here and tomorrow may never come. Because we don't want to wait and/or work for it.

With all my hurrying and speeding about I may have seemed to the outside world to be a goal-chaser and achieving great things that seem so valuable in our "materialistic" world, but because I was so busy rushing to the next big thing, I was actually missing out on life, my life and not enjoying any of these accomplishments or blessings. I was always about getting it, having it, and then going after the next big thing. For a long time, this left me feeling empty.

What I hadn’t learned was the true meaning and purpose of patience (James 1:2-3). I would get so frustrated with myself for not meeting my goals or not having all the answers. Every time I took a small step forward and improved, I would barely savor the achievement and would once again get upset at anything I saw as failure. My brain and heart worked independently. Finally, I came face to face with the realization that I don’t have full control and I wasn't meant to always be in control of everything, and that life will only move at the pace it needs to go at, regardless of how fast you try to go.

Patience, to me, was not a virtue; patience was hard and took A LOT of practice. Patience is about having the inner strength to wait, stick with something, face your fears, repeatedly let go of internal expectations, and have trust that it will all work out in the end.

When we rush, we lose patience and enjoyment of the moment, as I had. We also miss finding our own individuality and all the experiences, feelings, and people which help to create it. So, I have been diligently practicing being the tortoise, yep still constantly moving, but more strategic and enjoying a more natural pace; a pace which allows me to look around and truly enjoy life.

The practice of patience can remove the fears of inadequacy. The practice of patience can protect our minds and emotions, but it can also guide us to think and view the struggles of life and "not yet" answered prayers differently. A true virtue!